Get Loaded Rob

Written by Rob

Monday, 07 January 2008 07:47

Ryan So, recently I've met someone I've fallen for pretty hard. It's all happened so fast and I don't even know or remember how it all happened. I'm introduced to a pretty face one night and the next thing I know I'm driving six hours to a hotel to spend a weekend with her. We’ve been totally engaged in each other ever since. We talk for hours on end, send text messages back and forth all day. We talk about things I’ve never cared about in another person. I want to know about her, what makes her tick, what makes her happy.

My typical instinct to a situation like this, especially with someone that lives so far away from me, is to back away and not give it a second thought. "Protect yourself and don't get hurt because all she wants to do is control your life. Besides, you’re having too much fun being single." That's been my way of thinking for a long time. But there's something different about this girl. So much so, that my parents are taking notice. They’re kind of freaking out about it too. The words from my dad were, "I've never seen him like this. He's actually being nice to her."

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm mean or try to be but I just don't give women a whole lot of myself. I don't care. I cut them off rather quickly and don't put up with bullshit. My one thing with women is to never memorize their phone number because when you need to, you can't get rid of them. Once they've screwed up or I lost interest in them, I would delete any trace of their existence in my life. I’d delete their email address, their phone number, any text messages I've received or sent. I'd clear the phone call list on my cell phone that way there is absolutely no chance for me to contact them again. If they so happen to contact me I can simply ignore it.

This girl is very different. The weekend after we met I found myself driving for six hours (back and forth) to meet her. She lives five hours away from me and we decided to meet in between our cities to spend a weekend together. I've never done anything like that in my life for anyone. Not for a friend and especially not for a love interest. Maybe I've just always been selfish and didn't really care one way or another. If someone wasn't accessible to me I'd blow them off.

What Happened?

Could a guy like me really, truely, honestly fall in love? I guess we all get our shot at it but sometimes maybe we're too afraid to be hurt or take that chance. Maybe we're too worried about what our friends or family would say or think about us. We guard ourselves from the heartbreak and dismiss the possibility of what could be something amazing. We lose the possiblility of love so much that we become cynical to the thought that someone could care for you as much as you do them. We fill our minds with the "what ifs." "What if she doesn't love me?"

Sometimes you have to put that mindset aside and let it ride. There's alway possibilities; good or bad. There's always the chance of success or failure but you have to take that chance to really know.

Either way, at this point I don't even know if I could control this situation or get out of it on my own free will if I wanted to. I'm completely drawn to this girl. She's beautiful, she's fun, she's witty, she intrigues me. I remember things about her. Things she says she likes or has an interest in. She likes spaghetti and she cuts it into bite sized pieces instead of twirling it on her fork. If she could spend one romantic evening anywhere in the world it would be in Paris. She loves Vegas and wants to visit Disney World. If you tell her, "Oh the usual, flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep," she knows the reference. These are the details I never really cared about in a woman. I just never really paid attention.

The people I've spoken to about this have said to trust my instincts and not be afraid of taking a chance. I've gone into this head first. I dove straight in, off the highest diving board I could find. I feel like I've thrown myself off a cliff and I don't know if there's anything to catch me at the bottom. But the awkward thing is I'm happy. I feel good about it. I'm in love. I have that feeling of euphoria where nothing really matters and the rest of the world can simply wait.

I'm not going to hold back for the sake of "holding back." Sometimes you just have to take a chance, lose control and let nature take course. This is what life is all about; meeting someone, falling in love and enjoying the experience.