Get Loaded Rob

I haven't written in a while because I had a little bit of writer’s block, not to mention I've been pretty busy at work and with my personal life. But now I have something to talk about. It’s somewhat of a rant but there’s a simple message in there too.

Where to start? Well, I'm in a new relationship and it's definitely brought a big bag of new challenges into my simple life. Good and bad it's apparent that I have some adjusting to do. I'm not used to having to put my best foot forward for a girl or compromising my wants and needs for her and for the sake of our relationship. It’s always been kiss my ass or go away. What stands out to me is that even in the beginning stages of a relationship, challenges will arise and I guess its how you get through those challenges that matters the most. Remember, you’re dealing with a new person in your life and they may not understand everything about you quite yet.

Truth is when you love someone you find yourself doing strange things you may not have done in the past with other people or FOR other people. But it all comes to compromising between personalities, wants, needs, and each others feelings. I want everything to go my way but that's simply not going to happen all the time. Being a man and owning up to my feelings I realized I can disagree with my significant other and at the same time I can also be compassionate to her needs and respect her opinion. She may not always do what I want her to do, or what I think is right, but I respect her decisions. We do that for the people we love and almost in an unconditional sense.

Having said that, women can be a ball of indecisive, and confusing emotions. One second they want this and then the next second they want THAT. But really, that's not what frustrates guys. It's when women don't tell us what they want, even when they do change their mind, and that throws everything out-of-wack. Personally, I can deal with the emotional rollercoaster’s and minds being changed. I kind of expect that since it pretty much comes with the territory. I'm a compassionate person and understand when you're having a rough day. But what makes things hard is when women don't come to us with what they're thinking. Like if we're supposed to automatically know.

I've seen it in all aspects of my life and with all the women in my life. For instance when my mom wants something, she won't just tell me. She'll pout and be mad until someone, either my dad or I, asks her what the problem is. Even at that point she doesn't necessarily come forth with all the details.

From a relationship standpoint, I'm very vocal from the beginning especially now that I've been able to explore different relationships and different personality types. What’s very consistent about women is: they change their mind. What isn’t consistent about women is: some won’t tell you why or when they’ve changed their mind or what they expect out of you now that they've changed their mind.

I grew up not being able to express my feelings or being able to talk about things out of fear. Instead I watched my father hold onto things until he exploded in anger. It ended up destroying whatever my parents had left in their failing marriage. There was absolutely NO avenue for communication until it was a shouting match. Living through that circumstance I've embraced communication with the people close to me. It was the road map of what not to do.

Now that I'm older I don't feel comfortable guessing what my girlfriend wants. That's one thing that's frustrated me the most is someone that can't communicate with me even when it's somewhat of an uncomfortable subject. I tend to ask questions and pry a little at times. I guess I have expectations to be told when feelings or circumstances have changed. I'm not trying to be controlling but I like to understand what's going on. I think all guys are wired that way. We're curious about your life and your feelings towards us. We feel better about knowing and not guessing. If we're guessing we're probably coming up with some sort of impossible scenario that is pretty far off from the truth. That typically leads to trust issues, which is a whole other blog.

The message here is to talk to your significant other and especially the people you love. The best relationships are the ones where people can communicate and be completely honest with each other even if that bit of honesty might initially hurt that person. There are ways to confront people on touchy subjects without being a complete jerk. At least there are no hidden feelings and surprises later on in the relationship.

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